Job I would really love to have after I ride this whole Math Teacher wave out:
Bullpen Catcher.
I mean, how awesome would it be to play catch for a living? But I guess dude has more responsibilities than just warming up his pitcher and letting him know if that slider is breaking in the zone. Bullpen catchers have to throw batting practice, be the psychologist for the starting pitcher, and set up those $2.25 plastic white K-Mart patio chairs in the ‘pen.
Also, one other duty I never knew about until checking out the Dodgers last night. Bullpen catchers have to break open the gate and lead the charge out the bullpens as they empty onto the field when tempers flare.
I know I’d be the first guy out in full sprint, shin guards and all, trying to protect my teammate. I sure as heck wouldn’t throw a punch because really, let’s be honest, I’m a wuss…but I’d know I’d look super intimidating with my gazelle stride charging the diamond like only a little Vietnamese brother can.
Meantime, as I fantasize about my dream career, reality sets in and I realize the peons I’m teaching probably have never looked at a box score in the paper because:
A) Read…what’s that?
and
B) There are “like decimals and stuff.”
Losers.
